Children are a great
blessing from Allah. With their tender hearts, children
can be molded into righteous people only with a positive
and tender approach. Islam considers children to be an
amanah (trust) given to the family and says it is
fard (obligatory) for the family to raise a child
in a righteous manner. One should not favor one child
over another. In Islam, both male and female children
should be treated equally and should be loved and
cherished. The children have certain rights over their
parents; it is the family’s obligation to shelter, feed,
clothe, educate, support, nurture, and love them.
In today’s world many
parents are so immersed in worldly life that they forget
to pay attention to their children. Many parents think
that providing financial support for their child is
enough. The fact is, financial support alone doesn’t
fulfill a parent’s duty towards their child. One can
only win a child’s heart through love and a gentle
attitude. It is the child’s right to be loved and
cherished.
I remember that, as a
child, I yearned for the attention of my family, but
being in a joint family—my family and my uncle’s family
lived together and a few other cousins stayed with us as
their parents were working abroad—did not give me the
opportunity to experience the kind of attention I
expected. My parents felt that they should not express
their love for their children in front of others, as
people might think they were favoring us. As a child
(and even now), I heard people saying “We need not to
express our love to prove that it is there, it is enough
to have a loving heart.” But the fact is that only when
one expresses love to a child will the child feel more
confident and stronger. Children have the capacity to
easily distinguish when there is a difference in the
attitude of the adults. Whether an adult shows or does
not show love will have a significant impact on a child.
Hence, we adults have to be conscious with our behavior
in the child’s presence and be constantly aware of the
emotions we project to our children.
Nowadays, we see people
have become hardhearted so that their attitude towards
children is unpleasant. There are some who show much
partiality toward one gender, and there are some who
don’t treat others’ children with the same kindness or
affection which they show to their own children. It is
common to see even people who claim that they act on the
Qur’an and Sunnah showing less interest in playing with
their children or giving them the due attention or
expression of love.
The Prophet (peace and
blessings be upon him) is the model for the whole of
humankind. His attitude towards children was always
compassionate and merciful. Being fond of children,
Prophet Muhammad showed great interest in playing with
them. His involvement in children’s games shows us the
great importance in playing with our children. He would
have fun with the children who had come back from
Abyssinia and tried to speak in Abyssinian with them. It
was his practice to give lifts on his camel to children
when he returned from journeys.
Prophet Muhammad never
held back his love for the children and always expressed
his fondness to them. In one hadith Abu Hurairah (may
Allah be pleased with him) narrated:
I went along with
Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him)
at a time during the day but he did not talk to me
and I did not talk to him until he reached the
market of Banu Qainuqa`. He came back to the tent of
Fatimah and said, “Is the little chap (meaning Al-Hasan)
there?” We were under the impression that his mother
had detained him in order to bathe him and dress him
and garland him with sweet garland. Not much time
had passed that he (Al-Hasan) came running until
both of them embraced each other, thereupon Allah’s
Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “O
Allah, I love him; love him and love one who loves
him.” (Muslim)
Anas ibn Malik (may Allah
be pleased with him), the servant of the Prophet, had
another recollection:
I never saw anyone who
was more compassionate towards children than Allah’s
Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him). His son
Ibrahim was in the care of a wet nurse in the hills
around Madinah. He would go there, and we would go
with him, and he would enter the house, pick up his
son and kiss him, then come back. (Muslim)
The Prophet’s love for
children was not restricted to his children and
grandchildren. The scope of his mercy and affection
embraced all children, and he showed the same interest
and gentleness to his Companion’s children. The
following hadith narrated by Usamah ibn Zaid (may Allah
be pleased with him) shows this humane aspect of the
Prophet’s personality:
Allah’s Messenger used
to put me on (one of) his thighs and put Al-Hasan
ibn `Ali on his other thigh, and then embrace us and
say, “O Allah! Please be merciful to them, as I am
merciful to them.” (Bukhari)
Some people who were not
able to understand the power of expressing love to
children wondered why the Prophet (peace and blessings
be upon him) played with children and took such an
interest in them. Narrated Abu Hurairah (may Allah be
pleased with him),
Allah’s Messenger
kissed Al-Hasan ibn `Ali while Al-Aqra` ibn Habis
At-Tamim was sitting with him . Al-Aqra` said, “I
have ten children and have never kissed one of
them.” The Prophet cast a look at him and said,
“Whoever is not merciful to others will not be
treated mercifully.” (Al-Bukhari)
The Prophet was always
concerned about everyone’s thought and feeling. The
following hadith narrated by Anas ibn Malik (may Allah
be pleased with him) proves his thoughtful character:
The Prophet said, “(It
happens that) I start the prayer intending to
prolong it, but on hearing the cries of a child, I
shorten the prayer because I know that the cries of
the child will incite its mother’s passions.” (Al-Bukhari)
The Prophet was always
patient and considerate with children and took great
pain not to hurt their tender feelings.
Narrated Abu Qatadah:
“The Messenger of Allah came towards us while
carrying Umamah the daughter of Abi Al-`As
(Prophet’s granddaughter) over his shoulder. He
prayed, and when he wanted to bow, he put her down,
and when he stood up he lifted her up.” (Al-Bukhari)
In a another hadith,
Narrated Umm Khalid: I
(the daughter of Khalid ibn Said) went to Allah’s
Messenger with my father and I was wearing a yellow
shirt. Allah’s Messenger said, “Sanah,
Sanah!” (`Abdullah, the narrator, said that
sanah meant “good” in the Ethiopian language). I
then started playing with the seal of prophethood
(between the Prophet’s shoulders) and my father
rebuked me harshly for that. Allah’s Messenger said,
“Leave her.” The Prophet, then, invoked Allah to
grant her a long life thrice. (Al-Bukhari)
In another narration we
see the Prophet’s tolerance towards children.
Narrated `A’ishah: The
Prophet took a child in his lap … and then the child
urinated on him, so he asked for water and poured it
over the place of the urine. (Al-Bukhari)
Finally I would like to
add another saying of the Prophet that proves that
Muslims should be conscious to treat their sons and
daughters justly:
“Fear Allah and treat
your children [small or grown] fairly (with equal
justice).” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
From all the above hadith
we see Prophet Muhammad’s attitude toward children is an
example for the whole human race that shows how to treat
them and cherish them at all times.