Rights of a Muslim Wife
"Men are the protectors and maintainers
of women, because Allah has made the one of them to excel the other,
and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore
the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their
husbands), and guard in the husband’s absence what Allah orders them
to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband’s property, etc)…"
(An-Nisa’ 4:34)
Mahr
(Dowry)
In Islam the man
presents his wife with a dowry they have mutually agreed upon, at
the time of marriage. The amount varies according to his means and
generosity, and his wife has the right to spend, save or remit any
part of it. Allah (SWT) says in the Quran:
"And give to the women (whom you marry)
their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife
at the time of marriage) with a good heart, but if they, of their
own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it, and enjoy
it without fear of any harm (as Allah has made it lawful). (An-Nisa’
4:4)
Maintenance
Women have been
entrusted by Allah (SWT) with the task of providing a peaceful,
comfortable home environment for the breadwinner who works for their
provisions outside the home all day long.
"And among His Signs is this, that He
created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find
repose in them , and He has put between you affection and mercy.
Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect." (Ar-Rum
30:21)
"…But the father of the child shall
bear the cost of the mother’s food and clothing on a reasonable
basis. No person shall have a burden laid on him greater than he can
bear…" (Al-Baqarah 2:233)
"’O Messenger of Allah (SAW), what
right can a wife demand of her husband?’ He replied, ‘that you
should give her food when you eat, clothe her when you clothe
yourself, not strike her on the face, and do not insult her or
separate form her except in the house.’" (Reported by Ahmad, Ibn
Majah and Abu Dawud)
"A woman came to the Prophet (SAW)
complaining of her husband, ‘Messenger of Allah (SAW), Abu Sufyan is
a niggardly man who does not give me and my son enough; except what
I take from him without his knowledge.’ He replied, ‘Take what is
enough for you and your son according to what is ma’roof (well-known
in your society).’" (Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim) Good
Treatment, Condideration and Companionship
Allah (SWT) instructs
men that they must be compassionate and kind to their wives:
"…They are Libas [i.e. body cover, or
screen or Sakah, (i.e. you enjoy the pleasure of living with her as
in Verse 7:189) Tafsir At-Tabari], for you and your are the same for
them…" (Al Baqarah 2:187)
"It is He Who has created you from a
single person (Adam), and (then) He has created form him his wife
(Eve), in order that he might enjoy the pleasure of living with
her…" (Al-A’raf 7:189) This meaning that a
wife and a husband are meant for mutual support, mutual comfort, and
mutual protection of each other.
"I command you to treat women kindly.
Woman has been created from a rib (the rib is crooked), and the most
crooked part of the rib is the upper region. If you try to make it
straight you will break it, and if you leave it as it is, it will
remain curved. So treat women kindly." (Reported by Al-Bukhari) Prophet Muhammad (SAW)
also said:
"The best of you are those who are best
to the women." (Sahih At-Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah and Al-Jami Al-Saker) The best husband is one
who provides her with true leadership without harshness, or laxness,
and who does not misuse his authority and strength. Even if the
behavior of a wife should become hard to live with (for she may not
always be in strong health and of cheery disposition), the man is
asked to be patient and kind to her. Allah (SWT) says:
"O you who believe! You are forbidden
to inherit women against their will, and you should not treat them
with harshness, that you may take away part of the Mahr (dowry,
bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of
marriage) you have given them, unless they commit open illegal
sexual intercourse. And live with them honorably. If you dislike
them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it
a great deal of good." (An-Nisa’ 4:19)
A wife has the right to
her husband’s attention, companionship and time. The husband should
try to please and make her happy, taking into consideration her
needs, wishes, likes and dislikes, and making time for relaxation
and recreation together.
"Among the Muslims, the most perfect as
regards his faith is the one whose character is most excellent, and
the best among you are those who treat their wives well."
(At-Tirmidhi) The
Right to Adequate Sexual Relations
Since the purpose of
marriage is to be a mutual source of comfort, peace, and enjoyment
for each other, like a garment that protects and cover, the sexual
aspect of marriage is an extension of this. The husband is asked to
be gentle, considerate and loving with his wife, and to try to
satisfy her needs. The wife must reserve herself exclusively for her
husband, and make efforts to be attractive, as well as making
herself available to him whenever he is in need of her. This latter
obligation also applies to the husband. In Islam, any sexual
relations are reserved EXCLUSIVELY for the confines of marriage.
Both husband and wife are also obligated to honor the privacy of the
intimate relations between them, and should not speak of them to
anyone. Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said:
"Verily among the worst people before
Allah on the Day of Judgment is a man who approaches his wife
sexually and she responds and then he spreads her secrets." (Sahih
Muslim)
Allah (SWT) says in the
Quran:
"…And live with them honorably…"
(An-Nisa’ 4:19) The wife has right over
her husband. The husband should play with his wife.
"The Prophet (SAW) was told about one
of his Sahaba (Companions) that he fasts in the daytime and prays at
night, the Prophet (SAW) told him that his family has right over
him, his body has right over him, pray and sleep, fast and then
break the fast." (Ibn Hibban) The Prophet (SAW) also
declared that having sexual intercourse with one’s wife is like
giving charity. It is very important to play and sport with one’s
wife before having sex, as the Prophet (SAW) told Jabir, "Why did you not
marry a virgin, with whom you could play and who would play with
you?" (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim) The
Right Not To Be Beaten
Prophet Muhammad (SAW)
specifically said,
"Do not beat the female servants of
Allah." (Abu Dawud) Allah (SWT) says in the
Quran:
"…As to those women on whose part you
see ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share
their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but if
they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of
annoyance). Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great." (An-Nisa’
4:34)
The Prophet (SAW) said:
"When one of you inflicts a beating, he
should avoid striking the face."
The
Right to Be Just With All the Wives
The Prophet (SAW) said,
"When a man has two wives and does not
treat them equally he will come on the Day of Resurrection with a
side hanging down." (At-Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud)
The wives have the
right to equal number of nights and equal amount of wealth. The
Right to Learning Matters of the Deen
A husband’s duty is to
teach his wife the essential knowledge of Islam, in particular
matters pertaining to women. If he does not know himself, then he
must buy her books and tapes that would teach her or let her go to
study circles where she can acquire that knowledge. She can not
leave the house without his permission, but she can go to the Masjid
(Mosque) without his permission. He has no right to stop her from
that. Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said,
"Do not prevent the female servants of
Allah from visiting the mosques of Allah, but they may go out (to
the mosque) having not perfumed themselves." (Ahmad and Abu Dawud)
"…Their houses are better for them."
(Abu Dawud) The
Right to Be Jealously Defended
This includes not
letting her leave the house without proper hijab, or not letting her
freely intermingle with men. The Prophet (SAW) has said that a
‘dayooth’ (a man who is not jealous about his honor) will not enter
Paradise. · Not letting one’s
wife go out of the house EVEN when it is safe to do so. |