Puberty
Many well-meaning Muslim laypersons have furthered the idea that a man may not have
sex with a pre-pubertal girl. This statement can be true or false, depending on what is
meant by it. We must first define what is meant by the term “puberty”. Shaykh al-Islam
Ibn Taymiyyah warned the Muslims that when they debate about topics, they should first
define the terms they use clearly; he further explained how sometimes two people will
seem to be saying opposite things, even though the same thing is being said in different
ways.
The confusion occurs because “puberty” is defined differently in the English language
and in Islamic legal terminology. According to the English language, the definition of
puberty is:
The time when a child’s body becomes sexually mature
(Kernerman English Multilingual Dictionary)
If we use this English definition of puberty, then we agree that this is the precondition for
consummating a marriage: according to Islamic Law (Shari’ah), a girl’s body must be
sexually mature enough such that no harm will come to her from having sexual
intercourse. However, Islamic legal terminology defines “puberty” (buloogh) in a
different way: a girl is said to have attained the age of puberty when she has her first
period (menarche), regardless of if she is sexually mature or not. Menarche is not a
condition for marriage; sexually maturity is. Therefore, when Islamic scholars insist that
it is not necessary for a girl to have reached the age of puberty, they merely mean to say
that she does not have to be post-menarchal. However, all Islamic scholars agree that a
girl’s body must be sexually mature. In other words, a girl must have reached puberty
according to the English language, but not necessarily post-pubertal (baligh) according to
the Islamic legal terminology.
belief would create huge problems. After all, there are some girls who menstruate way
before they go through the other stages of puberty. In other words, just because a girl has
had her first period, this does not mean that her body is sexually mature. Wikipedia, for
example, says:
Menarche [onset of first period] may occur at an unusually early age, preceding
thelarche [breast development] and other signs of puberty. This is termed isolated
premature menarche.
(Wikipedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menarche)
To give an example, there may be an eight year old girl who menstruates but who has not
developed any of the other signs of puberty; her body may remain sexually immature.
According to Islamic legal parlance, such a girl—who menstruated at an early age before
her body becomes sexually mature—would technically be considered post-pubertal
(baligh). Yet, from an Islamic perspective, it would be strictly forbidden (haram) to have
sex with her, since her body has not matured enough to handle sexual intercourse.
On the other hand, take the example of a fourteen year old girl who has gone through
other stages of puberty, except for menstruation: she has developed large breasts, her sex
organs are developed, etc. According to Islamic legal parlance, such a girl would not be
considered post-pubertal (baligh), since she has not menstruated yet. Who then would be
fitter for sexual intercourse: the eight year old girl with immature sex organs or the
fourteen year old girl sexually mature sex organs? In fact, there are some girls who don’t
get their first period until they enter their twenties! A medical journal on Cambridge.org
says:
The variable age at menarche was normally distributed with an age range of 7–24
years.
(Cambridge.org,
journals.cambridge.org/production/action/cjoGetFulltext?fulltextid=10260)
Muslim laypersons should stop claiming that menarche (onset of periods) is the minimum
age for the consummation of marriage; Islamic scholars do not agree to this, and such a
So if we demanded stubbornly that a girl must pass through menarche before
consummation can take place, then this would create the unusual situation where we were
allowing some post-menarchal seven year olds to be married, whereas forbidding some
pre-menarchal twenty year olds from this! Therefore, the Islamic Law (Shari’ah) does
not want this absurdity to occur, and that is the reason that menarche is not used as an
indicator of a girl’s readiness for sex.
In fact, doctors would agree that a girl who menstruates is not necessarily ready for sex,
whereas a girl whose body is sexually mature is ready for that. Once again, because
Islamic scholars use menstruation as an indicator of the onset of puberty (buloogh), it is
therefore not very productive to use the Islamic definition of puberty (buloogh) to
delineate a girl’s readiness for sex. A girl may technically be post-pubertal (buloogh)
from an Islamic perspective, yet not be ready for sex. On the other hand, another girl
may technically be pre-pubertal from an Islamic perspective, and yet be ready for sex;
after all, some girls become sexually mature but have delayed menarche.
Mufti Maulana Husain Kadodia explained:
In reality, puberty has two usages. The first usage is with regards to physical
development, whereas the second usage is with regards to menses. For (sexual)
intercourse, developmental puberty is a precondition. Whereas for other
rulings—such as being ordered to pray—the menses usage applies.
(Maulana Mufti Husain Kadodia, www.Ask-Imam.com)
This is a very meaningful quote to understand, so let us elaborate on it. Basically, there
are two usages of the word “puberty”. The first usage of the word “puberty” [i.e. sexual
maturity] is a precondition for the consummation of marriage. On the other hand, the
second usage of “puberty” [i.e. menstruation] has to do with the age of accountability, not
marriage. Once a girl reaches the age of puberty/accountability, then prayer (salah),
fasting (sawm), almsgiving (zakah), and other religious duties become mandatory on her.
A person under the age of accountability, on the other hand, would not be punished for
failing to uphold these religious duties. When Islamic scholars use the term “puberty”
(buloogh), they are only referring to this second usage of the term.
It would be dangerous to use menarche (onset of periods) as a precondition for sex; as we
have discussed, some girls who have their menses are not sexually mature, and some
sexually mature girls do not have their menses until after many years. Therefore, the
idea that puberty is a precondition for sexual intercourse can be true or false, depending
on how we define “puberty”. If we use the English definition of the word, then it would
be correct to say that puberty is a precondition for sexual intercourse. If we use the
Islamic legal definition, however, then we should know that this is in reference to the age
of accountability and has nothing to do with marriage.
The Islamaphobes paint the picture that Islam allows a grown man to pierce his penis like
a lance into the underdeveloped vaginal opening of a sexually immature girl. Yet, this is
a horribly inaccurate depiction. A girl’s body must be sexually mature such that she can
withstand sexual intercourse without any harm coming to her whatsoever. For example,
the vagina cannot be small and improperly developed; otherwise, a man’s penis would
damage it, creating lacerations and other vaginal injuries. According to Islamic Law, if a
girl is sexually immature such that it would cause harm to her if she engaged in sexual
intercourse, then it is forbidden (haram) to have sex with her. I noticed that an
Islamaphobic site posted a fatwa (religious edict) from Shaykh Salih al-Munajjid in
which at the beginning of his ruling he said:
In this verse we see that Allaah has made the 'iddah in the case of divorce of a girl
who does not have periods - because she is young and has not yet reached puberty
- three months. This clearly indicates that Allaah has made this a valid marriage.
Yet, in the very same ruling, the Shaykh finished by saying:
Al-Dawoodi said: `Ai’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) had reached physical
maturity (at the time when her marriage was consummated).
From this, we can see the two usages of the word “puberty”. Shaykh Salih al-Munajjid is
basically saying that it does not matter if a girl has had menarche [first usage of the word
“puberty”], but it does matter if she has gone through the pubertal changes that cause
sexual maturation [second usage of the word “puberty”]. We cannot know for sure
whether not Aisha (peace be upon her) had her menses, but what we do know for a fact is
that Aisha (peace be upon her) “had reached physical maturity (at the time when her
marriage was consummated).” In other words, the legality of the marriage hinged not on
the menses, but rather on the sexual development that came about as a result of puberty.
In effect, Islam does not prescribe any age limit for consummation of marriage. There
may exist some girls who become sexually mature at the age of nine, whereas other girls
are still sexually immature at the age of sixteen. (Yes, it would be completely forbidden
under Islamic Law to have sex with a sixteen year old if she was sexually immature!)
When Islamic scholars clarify that menarche is not associated with the minimum age of
consummation, this is not their way of encouraging pre-menarchal girls to be married off!
Rather, it is to make it clear that menarche is just not the parameter we look for. To give
an analogy, if some person were to claim that a girl must be four feet tall before she could
be married off, then Islamic scholars would protest this, since height is not a determining
factor. Yes, because Islamic scholars say that sexual maturity is a requirement for
consummation of marriage, a consequence of this is that most girls who get married will
be taller than four feet. After all, most girls shorter than four feet are sexually immature.
But nonetheless it would be wrong to say that height is the factor we look for to
determine who is and who is not ready for sexual intercourse.
Marrying a young girl before she reaches the age of adolescence [puberty] is
permitted in Sharee’ah; indeed it was narrated that there was scholarly consensus
on this point. (a) Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And those of your women as have passed the age of monthly courses, for them
the 'Iddah (prescribed period), if you have doubt (about their periods), is three
months; and for those who have no courses [(i.e. they are still immature) their
'Iddah (prescribed period) is three months likewise” [al-Talaaq 65:4]
The emphasis then is on sexual maturity, not any specific age, since girls develop at
different rates. Shaykh Salih al-Munajjid wrote:
There is nothing…that forbid(s) that [consummation] in the case of a girl who is
able for it before the age of nine, or to allow it in the case of a girl who is not able
for it and has reached the age of nine.
In other words, age does not matter; all that matters is that the girl has undergone the
pubertal changes that would allow her to endure sexual intercourse without bringing any
harm to herself. Islamic Law (Shari’ah) is beautiful: all the emphasis is on the safety and
well-being of the girl. If sex would be harmful to the girl in any way whatsoever, then it
would be forbidden (haram) to have sex with her. In the words of Mufti Maulana Husain
Kadodia:
This shows the paramount importance that the Shari’ah gives to the rights of the
girl, by making her safety, health, and well-being the precondition for marriage.
This is in the spirit of Shari’ah to remove any harm that may come to the girl.
(Maulana Mufti Husain Kadodia, www.Ask-Imam.com)
By harm, we mean any harm whatsoever, physical as well as psychological. Islam
recognizes psychiatry as a legitimate branch of medicine. The evidence for this is that it
is permissible (halal) to use medicines containing forbidden (haram) ingredients in them
for the purpose of treating clinical depression, a psychiatric disease. Of course, the
psychological harm must be real, documented, and have proof in the medical sciences.
Most Westerners claim that marriage at such a young age is always harmful, and they
look down on past civilizations who engaged in that. In their collective hubris, these
Westerners judge all of humanity past and present based on their own society’s norms.
Yet, they should have some humility and be more self-critical. In the words of Abdullah
Squirres, the West has “been swallowed up (possibly unknowingly) by the ugly monster
of ‘moral relativism.’” In the West, for example, homosexual relationships are now
being considered normal, whereas large age gaps between man and wife are considered
abnormal. Christians would gawk at a ninety year old man married to a twelve year old
girl, but barely raise an eyebrow at Adam and Steve.
Yet, their own Bible categorically condemns homosexuality; God was so outraged by this
“abomination” that He sent “fire and brimstone” to destroy the society that engaged in it.
On the other hand, large age gaps are the norm in Biblical narratives. The Biblical
Prophet Abraham was eighty-six years old when he married someone some sixty or
seventy years younger than him. The Biblical King David, the man who slew Goliath,
was an old man on his deathbed when he married a young virgin. The Biblical Prophet
Isaac was forty years old when he married a three year old Rebecca! According to the
Christian narrative, the ninety year old Joseph married the twelve year old Mary. Saint
Augustine at the age of thirty-one betrothed a ten year old girl whom he married two
years later. And other examples abound.
Yet, suddenly when it comes to Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon), the disingenuous
Christians are up in arms! Is their criticism honest or is it merely the result of their
ignorance, arrogance, and Islamaphobia? Should we really judge all of humanity based
on the West’s ideals? Somehow the Westerners cannot understand how a sixty year old
man would find a fifteen year old girl to be attractive, yet they somehow understand how
one man would be attracted to another man. This is merely a case of moral relativism,
and based on Western society’s cultural mores. Yet, not every society feels the same
way, and the Westerners should realize this! For example, Prophet Muhammad (peace be
upon him) told his disciples about the story of Prophet Lot (peace be upon him) and how
the people of Sodom engaged in the sin of homosexuality. Being attracted to another
man was so unacceptable amongst the Arabs that many of the Prophet’s disciples were
shocked and told him that they had previously thought it impossible for a man to be
attracted to another man.
Another example of the West’s selective bias is their scorning of cousin marriages;
somehow it is considered biologically normal to be attracted to the same sex, yet it is
backwards to be attracted to a cousin! Is it not possible, we ask these people, that not all
cultures are alike? What is considered acceptable by you may not be acceptable to others
and vice/versa. In the West, for example, fornication is considered acceptable, or at least
normal. In the United States and parts of Europe, the average age at which girls engage
in sexual foreplay (kissing, fondling, oral sex, etc.) is shockingly low; by the age of
twelve, about half of American girls have become unchaste, and some have even lost
their virginity. In fact, most Western readers will probably think that a girl having her
first kiss on her junior prom is “cute”; few Westerners realize that this is fornication as
condemned in their Bible. In fact, the Westerners are more accustomed to and okay with
fornication than they are of marriage; so an American girl who has oral sex at fourteen
gets only nominal criticism and is considered “more normal” than a Muslim girl who gets
married at the same age!
The idea that absolutely no girl is ready to be married at the age of nine, ten, or twelve is
completely false. The proof against this claim is that many American girls are
voluntarily becoming sexually active at those ages. But hey, reason the Westerners, that
is okay so long as it is illegal fornication and not the lawful sexual intercourse of
marriage! If a high school girl engages in lesbian activity with another girl, that’s okay
they say, so long as her partner is around the same age! On the other hand, normal
heterosexual sex between an older man and a young wife is considered atrocious. It
becomes understandable for a girl to be attracted to another girl, but completely
unacceptable for an elderly man to find a young girl attractive.
Ancient (and not so ancient) cultures used to prize virginity. That is why men used to
marry girls as soon as they turned sexually capable, in order that they marry girls who
have not been “defiled” by other men. On the other hand, girls favored socially wellestablished
males; this meant that girls tended to favor elderly men, instead of financially
struggling younger ones. This is why there was a huge age gap back in those days.
Today, on the other hand, Western guys could care less about the virginity or chastity of
their brides; in fact, most of them express interest in finding a (sexually) “experienced”
girl. Furthermore, whereas once society had valued age in males, now the older you are,
the more chance you have of being accused of senility! And thus the age gap disappears.
But this should be understood as a cultural trend, and not a moral fact of life. Yes, girls
today are disgusted by the thought of marrying old men, but was the Biblical Hagar
insulted at marrying the eighty-six year old Abraham? Was the Biblical Mary, the
mother of Jesus, disgusted by the thought of marrying a widower in his nineties? Was
the ten year old girl fiancé of Saint Augustine disgusted by the thought of marrying a
thirty plus male? Was the seven year old French princess disgusted by the thought of
marrying a Christian King, Richard II? Far from it. All of these girls were very pleased
with their marriages to such noble men, just as Aisha (peace be upon him) was pleased
with her marriage to the Mercy of all the Worlds, the Seal of the Prophets, and the best
human in the world.
Yes, today it seems difficult to believe that a nine or ten year old would be ready for
consummation of marriage, but Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) married her
over a thousand years ago. Is it not conceivable that we judge him by the standard of his
time and not the cultural norms of today? In any case, such a marriage is valid according
to Jewish, Christian, and Islamic Law. As such, there is no issue.